Thursday, March 25, 2010

Day 5: Words of Advice

"Just a word of advice...your blog sometimes says too much. I don't think the adoptive parents of Oliva appreciate some of your posts, ones like this one. Also, your friend's family probably didn't appreciate you telling the world that their daughter committed suicide, and your friend probably didn't like knowing you told the whole world the things that happened in your friendship at the time you guys were fighting. In the future, you may want to think about others' feelings before you reveal things that are private or sensitive to them. It's your right to put out your private business in a blog, but you don't have a right to do that if you're putting other's private business out in the process. Talk about yourself, but leave out details that involve other people in your life that may not appreciate it. Also, if I was Tayler, I would be irrate you told all of your readers that your friend thinks he's ugly. Did you ever think that might be humiliating for him? Mature a little before you have a blog."
-Anonymous comment.

Dear Anonymous,

Words of advice: Your comment says a little bit too much.

Love,
The blogger who says too much.


I'm sorry blogging world that there was an actual maturity level before you can have a blog. I'm sure if you had to take a maturity test before you got a blog, I would fail, miserably. This blog post may seem immature. I just want to make some things clear for you, anonymous. This is just for you- because sometimes I tend to talk about personal things about people that I don't know that they might not appreciate. Right? About my own daughter's parents? About my best friend who passed away? My best friend's family? My own fiance?
I just like to go on and on about their personal life because I have nothing else better to do, huh? Seems like it doesn't it?

Anonymous, sadly. I can't call you anything else because you didn't even have the common courtesy to call me out with your actual name. You're a coward.

Have you ever thought that, maybe, somethings that happen affect my life? And sometimes those "things" are people?
Maybe some people aren't meant to be in our lives forever. Maybe some are just passing through to teach us a lesson.
What's the point of living this life alone? Or not having anyone in your life? You wouldn't learn anything or have any trials to overcome.
I hope you learn your lesson, anonymous.

Obviously, I affected your life somehow and offended you by my openness. Well, it sounds like to me that they only way you REALLY know me and can judge me is through my blog. Good for you and for getting to really know me as a person. You did some quite intense research.
I don't know what it is that I said that offended you, when it probably wasn't even directed towards you.

I'd just like to know anonymous, do you PERSONALLY know me to attack me? You can sit here and tell me that I should be more sensitive to the topics I write about others, were you even thinking about being sensitive to what you were writing to me? Once again, proving you're a hypocrite.

"Don't judge my journey until you've walked my path."

Just for you anonymous, I wanted to see how many people you think that I've been insensitive to, such as Jessica's family (The same friend that committed suicide. The same friend that I got in a fight with and posted over my blog but ended up deleting, you've obviously been a follower for a while if you saw that blog before I deleted it. The same friend that told me that my fiance was unattractive.)
Have you ever had a best friend that you've gotten in a fight with and maybe did some things or said some things that were really stupid? But they're still your best friend? Think about a time like that in your life and come back to me. Kthanks.

I also took the liberty of e-mailing Dustinn and Valery about what I've said my blog. If anything I've said that has bothered them- their response,

"Hey pretty lady,

To answer your question: no, you didn't hurt us at all. Honestly, blog posts, comments, etc. Don't ever worry me. Really what is important to me (important to us--speaking for Dustinn also) is our relationship with you. And we think things are good. (please tell us if you feel otherwise-- we're always here to talk.) In short, no, you did not hurt us and don't worry about it. Yes, we are super private people. It makes me laugh sometimes that we are so opposite in that way. I literally twist myself like a pretzel trying to write anything slightly personal on our blog. Haha. But you compliment me. I'm learning things from you. I love and adore you. I am proud Olivia has your genes. I think the future is very bright.

You are so respectful of privacy and so unconditionally loving."

Wait a second, I thought I was this deviant child that disrespects privacy and posts them and doesn't care about anyone's feelings because I'm heartless and unloving of others. Doesn't sound like that to me here.

Jessica's mom, Lisa, I have a GREAT deal of respect for her. Even though Jessica and I were close as best friends, Lisa has been through it ALL with her. Did you even think for one second that if I didn't feel like it was okay to post what I did, I wouldn't have?

Lisa replied,

"Hey Stef, I got your message and don't even worry about it. I read your blog and I am not offended at all. Don't people have anything better to do than criticize someone who is trying to grieve the best way she can? Hang in there! Come by and see me sometime."

Yeah, that REALLY sounds like someone to me that is SO offended by what I wrote about their daughter, which was true. I'm sorry anonymous, that you and I grieve differently.

If you're so upset about my openness anonymous, why do you even read it?

Ever heard of the first amendment? Pretty sure, I have my right to that. And I'm sorry that your opinion doesn't mean much to me. I'm going to continue as being open as I want to be. But good luck in your life and criticizing those that have done NOTHING to you, personally.
Until now. :)

Mature a little before you post a comment ;)

P.S. My fiance is the MOST attractive man in the world to me, and he knows that. So he's not irate or humiliated at all. I don't marry ugly people. :)

8 comments:

  1. Excuse the language but HELL yeah! You have every right to post whatever you want to say! Nobody has to read your blog, personally I love it! If you don't like what Stefanie has to say, there's a little red X in the corner.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hahah i am a different anonymous then who your talking about!!!!! I just don't have a blog thing that i can leave my name.

    I think what you write is beautiful. I didn't get you coming off at all as mean or disrespectful. I love your blogs I read them when ever I get a chance. I still think you should write a book!!

    I think the other anonymous is just fishing for a fight.

    YOUR AMAZING AND YOUR WORDS ARE WONDERFUL! KEEP ON WRITING IT OUT

    ReplyDelete
  3. haha I am laughing so hard you are awesome ;) and some people are so DUMB! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. wow... nice response Stef... whoever wrote this obviously is ADDICTED to your life.. if they dont like it than they shouldnt even read it... its thier own problem and i think you have handled it all VERYY WELL..
    AND JUST FOR THE RECORD
    reading your stuff about the baby about just EVERYTHING pretty much has taught me alot.. i judged you before i knew you and im sorry i did.. but i think what you have done is awesome and i look at you as a whole new person, and i had my own questions about your adoption that you were so open to answering for me which was awesome.. your a strong person to do what you did.. and you obvisouly did the right thing.. so whoever the heck wrote that nasty crap about you.. I'll tell them where to go and how to get there. :)
    -Trisha L.

    ReplyDelete
  5. HEY ANNONOMISS. SHUT UP. AND DON'T JUDGE ME BECAUSE I CAN'T SPELL ONNANOMISS ALRIGHT? CAUSE YOU'RE A HATER. AND NOBODY LIKES HATERS. DID YOU KNOW THAT BLOGS ARE DESIGNED FOR PEOPLE TO DISCUSS PERSONAL DETAILS OF THEIR LIVES? YEAH, IT'S TRUE. I DID SOME RESEARCH AND LOOKED UP THE WORD BLOG BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHY. SO IF YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH MY FRIEND STEFANIE YOU CAN TAKE IT UP WITH ME. I WAS IN KARATE IN THE SECOND GRADE. I GOT TO THE SECOND BELT. THAT'S A YELLOW BELT IF YOU DON'T KNOW. I GOT SOME PRETTY GOOD KARATE CHOP MOVES.

    So, anyways...there's some quote about people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind or something poetic and beautiful and wonderful like that. I don't know. It seems relevant. But I'm not making any sense so you don't have to listen to my words of inspiration if you don't want to. But don't listen to the haters because they're not worth it.

    ~~JU$TIN RY@N~~

    ReplyDelete
  6. haha! Stef you're awesome!! :D I was like wait what?! Anonymous, my word of advice to you is before you judge a person walk in their path First! Have you read "To Kill a Mocking Bird"? Yeah, read that book! That teaches you to walk in their shoes before you judge because when you do, you end up Loving them more, and you end up not Judging!

    And Stef I totally respect you! haha! I Loved how out spoken you were of stating the facts! When Anonymous said that you were being too open about talking about the Adoptive Parents, I was like WHAT?! Apparently you don't exactly understand what and Open Adoption Means! Anonymous, when you love your son/Daughter so much or even somebody else like a best friend, Boyfriend/Fiance, etc. you Talk about them, and you talk about them a lot! And This is a way that some of us coop with life is we talk about it and we're open about it! :D And when we talk about people of whom we Love, it means that they have impacted our live to an extent that we learn to Love other people as well as ourselves!

    Love ya Stef! <3

    ReplyDelete
  7. Stef, I appreciate your comments and your stories. I have truly gained such a greater respect and understanding for birth moms because of the many lessons you have taught me through your blog...again, YOUR blog, which you have the right to post what YOU are feeling. It's therapeutic for you and that's obvious to anyone who reads it. Thanks so much and keep it up!
    Cyd

    ReplyDelete
  8. You don't know me but it just sounds like someone trying to piss you off to me. I've lurked on your blog here and there and you don't seem too immature to blog for me...afterall, you have a lot of followers and did the most mature thing regarding the life of your baby girl.

    ReplyDelete