Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Quotes and Songs

These are quotes and songs of my life that have meant a lot to me through this past year. Or maybe after since me and N broke up. Ugh, I'm so lame.
Yes, because I would love more than anything to be over him but I'm reminded everyday that there is a part of him that made our little girl. I think also, that makes it so much harder for me to let go. On Mother's day all I thought about is if N was thinking about me and Olivia. And how I would just love for him to call and say, "I was thinking of you, have a happy Mother's day and tell Olivia hi for me." Or ask how we are. Or maybe to make me feel better to ask how I am. I don't know. I know I say I want him to call for her but maybe it just gives me a slight comfort that I know he's there and thinking of us. Anyway, this is what I have.

Come Back To Me
David Cook


You say you gotta go and find yourself.
You say that you're becoming someone else.
Don't recognize the face in the mirror
Looking back at you.

You say you're leaving
As you look away
I know there's really nothing left to say
Just know I'm here
Whenever you need me
I'll wait for you.

So I'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me

Take your time I won't go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I'll keep your things right where you left them
I'll be here for you

And I hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you come back to me

I can't get close if you're not there
I can't get inside if there's no soul to bear
I can't fix you I can't save you
It's something you have to do.

When you find you come back to me



Breathe
Taylor Swift


I see your face in my mind as I drive away
'Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way
People are people and sometimes we change our minds
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie
It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see
'Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down
Now I don't know what to be without you around

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve
People are people and sometimes it doesn't work out
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand

And I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me
It's two a.m., feelin' like I just lost a friend
Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me

And we know it's never simple, never easy
Never a clean break, no one here to save me, oh

I can't breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to
Breathe
Without you, but I have to

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry

Thinking of You
Katy Perry


Comparisons are easily turned
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...
Stay.

I'll pretend I never meant a word I said. And we'll go on believing we can be friends. But every time you look at me, I feel that hole inside my chest. And you can see it, I know you can.

Part of me wants to find the right words to hurt you, the same way you hurt me. And part of me knows I never could.

It kills her to know that everything he told her was a lie. When the only lie she ever told him was, "Babe, I'm over you." And she's still trying to make herself believe it.

Can you truly say that you don't feel a thing for me?

I do love you. Don’t you see? Don’t you understand? I can't leave you. But you are constantly leaving me. You walk away when you want, you come back when you want. Not everyone, not your friends, but you leave me. So I’m asking you if you don't see a future for us, if you're not in this, please just end it, because I can't. I'm in it. Put me out of my misery.

Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them.

I’m scared, completely terrified actually. Scared of what will happen if i see you again. & Scared of what will happen if I don't see you again Because I can't stop thinking about you. I can't get you out of my head, from under my skin. Because every time I see you, my heart kicks in my chest.

You don't have to be together for him to break your heart.


It's not easy to move on if you're in love,
& if it is, then I'm guessing you weren't.

Maybe some people aren't meant to be in our lives forever.
Maybe some are just passing through to teach us a lesson.


I saw you just the other day my heart stopped beating,
but you? You walked right past me.

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
(hahahhahhahahha, um, yep. I'm a stalker)

I'm not gonna write you a poem or tell you how much
I miss you because words can mean nothing.
But when you see the tears streaming down my face,
hopefully you'll understand.


You know, the right guy won’t get you to change. He won’t
subtly pressure you. He won’t tell you who you can and can’t
talk to about the two of you. He won't hide the fact that you’re
hanging out. He's not gonna tell you you're wrong for feeling;
for being a girl. The right guy will show you off to his friends. He'll take it
as slow as you want. He’ll only go as far as you're comfortable with.
He'll take you out to places, even if it’s just a fast food place or the store.
He'll actually sit through your stupid girly Disney movies with you
because he wants to watch them with you. The right guy will come along
someday, you just gotta tough it out and wait for him.
But whatever you do, don’t settle. You deserve so much more.


Even if I said I didn't care a million times
over & over again, you'd know I still do.

I fantasize about rejecting the apologies
that I know will never come.

I'm mad at myself, not you. I'm mad for always being nice.
I'm mad for always apologizing for things I didn't do.
I'm mad for getting attached. I'm mad for depending on you
and wasting my time on you. I'm mad for thinking about you,
and most of all for not hating you when I should have.

When I look at him & see all those memories of us,
I just wonder if maybe he's still seeing them too.

Memories -
constant reminders that things are different now.

People ask me why it's so hard to trust people,
I ask them why is it so hard to keep a promise.




That is all that I have. I have to work now. I have a conference call tomorrow with D and V. Today would be mine and J's two year anniversary. Great. Awesome. So of course he doesn't leave me alone and sends me things like, "Why can't we be together? Would you still marry me?" Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Yeah, no.

I hope tomorrow is better than today.

3 comments:

  1. wow! Loved those! yeah, I hope Joel realizes that you don't Love him anymore! You deserve someone better than Nic and Joel! And talk about Awkward! :P LOL

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  2. Can you see the irony that Joel still wants you and you've been quoting all these things about still wanting Nic? I'm sorry it's so hard. Someday it'll be easier.

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  3. That Joel is a freak-o to me and I'm a freak-o to Nic? Oh, good. ha.

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