Monday, May 31, 2010

Memorial Day

I'm thinking about you all, today.

Aunt Allison (Pictured Left)
My Aunt passed away in a car accident when I was 2. But I've always been told stories of Allison growing up. I've read her book that my grandma put together of pictures, letters, and notes. I was given a little glass slipper that was Allison's and my Grandma always talked about how Allison wanted to find the right guy and was reminded by the glass slipper/Cinderella story. And the slipper was passed on to me.

Kiefer Sandoval
I met Kiefer back in Junior High. When I was in 8th grade and he was in 7th grade. I remember he had this weird long hair and then he cut it and he was a STUD. My senior year, his junior year, he passed away in a car accident. I remember maybe just the week before he passed that we shared a cookie together. It was devastating to hear the news over the intercom at school. I will always remember him. He was an AMAZING actor.

Maloree Rose Hunt
Maloree was a year older than me. She battled with Leukemia since about 10 years old I believe. She went into remission for about year and it relapsed and none of the medicine was working and passed away when she was 16. Me and my best friend Ali would come over to her house and visit her and she got to meet Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. I was SUPER jealous. They were my idols at the time. Maloree was such a loving person and caring to all. I saw her dad today at Tucker's viewing and he said he googled Maloree's name and found a post that I had written about her back in October. And I talked about a dream about her giving me a stuffed animal and he told me today that he has one to give me. Geez, make me cry even more! Her whole family is amazing. :) They're an inspiration to me!

Grandma Jodie
My grandma (Dad's mom) passed away about 2 weeks before I went into labor with Olivia. I'd like to believe my grandma got to tell Olivia all about me before she came down. And knew the difficult decision. I loved going to my grandma's house. It was an older house but I loved the antique feeling of it. She suffered from dementia and was living on Hospice her last few weeks but she was a sweet spirit and wasn't frustrated or upset when she didn't remember who you were. I'm sure she'd had to keep asking who I was. But she was always so nice.

Tucker Nielson
June 12, 1989 - May 28, 2010
Tucker has recently passed and I went to his viewing tonight. I grew up in the same neighborhood as Tucker (and Maloree). I remember I would go over to neighbors houses and ask to jump on their trampolines and Tucker would make his way over and jump with us. I was always so scared because he was make me jump super high. And I'd play on the playground in his backyard. We were in the same ward until it split. We road the same bus all through junior high and high school and probably hung out with him a few times in high school. And that's about it. My heart hurt when I heard about his passing. He was a funny, popular kid in high school. He was on the football team and wrestling team. He just knew how to make everyone laugh and hugged everyone who entered the room. He was such a sweetheart to all who knew him. He'll be greatly missed.

Jessica Harris
June 9, 1992 - March 8, 2010
Last but not least. My best friend Jessica. I went and visited her today before Tucker's viewing. And it was good to just sit down and talk with her. I hadn't seen her headstone since it was put in but the decorations with it were beautiful. And I put in the picture of Jessica and Olivia. Her mom always tells me that was probably Jessica's happiest days of her life. I miss her so much every single day. I miss having my best friend here. Especially when I just want to vent and be so mad at people and she'd agree right along with me how awful of people they were. It's always something I wanted to hear but of course, it was only to get the anger out. I love her so much. I thought I'd share a dream that I had about her a couple of nights ago. I did not want to get out of bed because it was such a good dream. I left this on her facebook, "This beginning part is kind of funny. Me and Tayler were bringing your casket over to your house. I don't know why. And I guess I tripped and that jumpstarted you and you came back to life. And you just walked around the place like nothing happened. You hugged me and Tayler. And I said, "Dude. You died. Don't you remember?" You said, "What? No Ididn't. You're lying." I showed you everything on your Facebook. Then your mom came home and she saw the casket lying open in the front room and ran over to the kitchen and saw you and she didn't believe it. And you walked over crying and hugged her and she was crying and you both fell to the ground and she held you like when you were a little girl. And Joel came over. So the original four (You, Me, Joel, and Tayler) just sat around and talked like the old times. Laughed and joked. I wanted to remember every single thing about you in that moment. Your laugh, your smile, and your voice. It felt awesome to hear and see all of that again. It was unreal. You said your I love you's to everyone in the room. And the end of the dream you turned to me and said, "I didn't realize how much people really loved me." And my alarm woke me up. Which was the song, "Only You Could Love Me This Way." Thanks for the dream, best friend. I needed it. I love you."

I wanted to post this video to all those who are missing someone(s) today. I'm sorry for your loss and they'll be greatly missed. I hope you'll be comforted today.


  1. This post just breaks my heart. The dream about Jessica brakes me heart so much more. I wish she was still here with you on this Earth. Im glad she now knows how much everyone loves her.

  2. Stefanie, thanks for sharing that video I love it.

  3. Wow, what a great gift that dream was!

  4. "And if I go, while you're still here.... Know that I live on, vibrating to a different measure--behind a thin veil you cannot see through. You will not see me, so you must have faith. I wait for the time when we can soar together again, both aware of each other, until then; live your life to its fullest ... and when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart........ I will be there."
    this is a quote that has always helped me. I have lost many people I care about too. I wanted to share this with you. You are so sweet to have been there for all those friends. I know they are with you and watching over you in your life journey! HUGS