So today, I was very sick and didn't stay very long at my externship. Go me. I slept most of the day. But then I was talking to a girl that I know from LDS family services. She goes to the little groups on Wednesdays and that's how I met her. And I'm not going to put up her name on here unless she wants me to. But probably not. Anyway, I will call her K.
K and I got to talking about dating or something how there's a girl who has put herself on a dating website. And we're just thinking, WHAT?! You want to date now?! Like this?! Ha. And boys don't even sound good right now. Or dating for the matter. I probably have only gone out once and that was with N and it probably wasn't even really a date. :/
Anyway, so with dating. We talked about creepy men and how they now hit on us because of our current status as being single and pregnant. So we must be easy. Yipee. We ended up going to Wal*Mart and buying fake engagement rings. How incredible is that? I got a size too big so it totally looks fake. But it was so fun to hang out. We also went to Target to see if they had any better ones but we found these awesome Indian headbands that totally needed instructions on how to wear. They were insane.
While at Target I got a phone call. Yeah, let's just say I spoke a little too soon on my two previous posts. My caseworker, Loni, called me. And she told me that N had called her yesterday and they saw each other today. It was sort of lame that he went without me. But he has a TON of courage to go out on his own and do that. She just kind of told me what he said and that he was polite about it. Most of the same things he told me was that he wants to do what's best for the baby. And I don't know if he suggested it or if she did. But something about having meetings together to clear things up, and also to make decisions. Not to make decisions right away. But to make some progress through the relationship.
I didn't even know how to feel. I was in complete schock because I thought about just giving up. Yeah, a week is a little short of time to give up. But the whole three strikes you're out thing. And I felt like N wasn't putting in any effort. So why should I put forth the effort for him? Anyway, It was kind of funny because, I don't want to say I yelled at her because I wasn't angry, probably more relieved and said, "Loni! You don't even know how crazy I've been the past couple of days because I thought he was done and wasn't going to return my calls." But she said the talk went well and we'll probably meet on Friday.
I'm excited but SO nervous. Because I have some pretty big news to tell them. I've been telling Loni that I was most likely be doing single parenting. But after I found out about this couple, I would really consider adoption. It's so weird to even think about it. It still hurts. But I feel a lot better about it. I don't know how they'll react. I'm sure N will be happy because that's what he wants. But I still haven't made up my 100%. I still have that attachment for my baby. And it probably won't ever go away. But I know God will help me through this. :] Always have faith.
Anyway, I thought I would post some pictures of some family pictures we took a couple of weeks ago. Ha. They're... great. I tried posting the ones of the family that look all good. Sorry if some are unhappy. :/
All 6 sisters.
I added this one, clearly, just to laugh at it. Erika and I saw the photographers blog and we saw all these jumping pictures. And we said, "We'll tell the photographer the jumping pictures are a negatron." And we got one. Ha.
And the last ones are of me, GO ME.
Don't judge my journey until you've walked my path.