Wednesday, March 25, 2009


N had to work so he didn't go with me to my appointment at LDS family services.
He called me yesterday while I was working but I called him back and left him a message saying there was a group at 4:30 and that my next appointment will be in two weeks.

So I went to LDS family services and it was kind of interesting.
My dental teacher told me that she worked with a lady who was trying to adopt. And they got a call from North Carolina about a baby. And they said they had to fly out there to get the baby but they had to stay a week because the birth mom can change her mind within at that time. And I thought about adoption and if I were to do adoption. It would be that family. And I told Loni (my case worker) that and she said it was funny because that's her couple. I don't know what it is but maybe the Lord is trying to tell me something. :/ Gosh, it's so hard for me not to cry when I think about adoption. Like right now, I just want to cry and say no, it's not for me. But I can't say it, because it's not for me. It would be for the baby.
I just could never believe that I would ever have to put any of my children up for adoption.

Anyway, after I went to Wal*mart because I have some lovely cancre sores in my mouth. So I went to get some cancre sore medicine. And N works at Wal*mart, I saw him when I walked in but I don't think he saw me. Then I went into the self check out line and he walked over and said hi. And asked what I was buying. And I told him it was cancre sore medicine. He asked why I had cancre sores. But I don't know. PSH. Probably just stress.
But I gave him a paper with like the schedule of the birth parent groups that he could go to. It's every Wednesday from 4:30 to 6. (I'm totally going tonight and we're doing yoga and relaxation!) He couldn't go tonight because he works until 7.
Then I told him that either we could go April 7 or 9 and I had a doctors appointment on the 8th and he said he would call me when he had his schedule with him.
I always seem to make myself look stupid though because I grabbed my money and I totally forgot to grab my medicine and he asked, "Do you want that?" I just said, "Probably!" Then I saw the nail place like right in front of me and got a much needed pedicure! And it was fantastic.
Before I left I showed him my beautiful toes. :] ha.

It was good to relax today though and not have to think much about anything. I started at my dental office on Monday for my externship. I still go to school Monday through Thursday from 6 to 9:30. I also work at a local restaurant Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. So much stresssss. And it also made me happy to think he was actually coming around. Usually, I have to be the one who walks over and says hello first. Improvment? I think so.

Let's do a little picture time line. YAY.

Mine and N's first picture together. Summer '08

At the mall.
Roadtrip to Idaho. One of our last pictures together. January '097 weeks pregnant.

10 weeks pregnant.

12 weeks pregnant.

And the current one, 14 weeks pregnant.

Don't judge my journey unless you've walked my path.


  1. So jealous of the pedicure. CUTE! And that's cool that Nic is being nice. Have you seen pics of that couple? Are they on the LDS Family services site? I want to see. :) Anyway, that would be really cool if Nic started going with you to your meetings and appointments.

  2. I haven't seen pictures of the couple. I don't want to give them false hope at the moment since they just had some false hope. I want to make a decision with Nic. I think they're greg and holly on the website. they're the ones with no child, in Utah.