Friday, December 24, 2010

Happy Holidays Y'all.

Stefanie's Family Traditions:
Christmas Eve Family Devotional. As children we re-enacted Christ's birth and read from Luke 2. Since we're older. We just read and sing the hymns. We also have matching PJ's from my parents. We usually do a secret sister exchange but we didn't do one this year. We slacked a little.

Tell me about your family traditions! :)

For those of you who have lost a loved one recently or you have a lonely Christmas this year. From adoptive parents that this is another year without a baby. Or to birth mother's who haven't seen their babies since birth or their baby isn't in their home (however you feel this year). I'm thinking about all of you.

I'm so grateful for Christ's birth. The sacrifices that Mary made to bring Him into this world and the love that she has for Him. And the sacrifices that were made for all of us. I was telling Tayler the other day, that we do remember Christ as a baby and that's how most birth moms remember their birth children as well. Not as a 1 year old, 5 year old, 9 year old, 15 year old, 20 year old, etc. We think of them as babies.

I read this poem the other day. And I really liked it a lot. I hope you also enjoy it. The holidays can be especially hard. Just because everyone is with their family. And you just wish you could be included with that with your baby as your "family." For me, personally, I don't feel that way. I haven't really had a hard Christmas this year, which I'm grateful for. I know that Olivia is with her family and that someday, I'll be able to have my very own Christmas with my children as a family. :)

A Birthmother's Christmas

by Shonna K.

It was the night before Christmas
and all through the world
Birthmothers were praying
for their precious boys and girls.

One certain Birthmother
Was trying not to mourn
For this Christmas was the first
Since her baby had been born

Knowing her decision
Was one for the best
She lights a candle in memory
Then sits down to rest.

The wick of the candle
flickers with light
The wind outside is howling
She finds little comfort on this lonely night

For this is the first of many
She will feel this great loss
For her child reaps the benefit,
She simply pays the cost

She takes out an album
And gently dusts off the cover
It is all she has left
To feel like a mother.

She treasures each photo
of her little one
They are her only ties
To her precious son.

Silently a tear
Slips down her cheek
She wipes it away quickly
So she doesn't appear weak.

Christmas will never
be the same again
She will always be thinking
of her little man.

She knows through her pain
For him this was right
But her unselfless deed
Gives little comfort that night.

Her arms are still empty
Her heart is still breaking
He is with somebody else
And she is left aching.

Her heart sits on each page
Of that dusty book
In his eyes, his little face
The way that he looks.

The clock strikes midnight
It is officially Christmas morn
The first that he's had
Since the day he was born

She can't hide her pain
She can't hide her tears
This is the first of many
Long, painful years

But the light that she sees
At the end of all this
Is the smile on his face
He is truly blessed

With that thought
She slowly readies for bed
To sleep all night
Dreams of him in her head

She slowly lays down
And heads off to sleep
Knowing his memory
She will always keep.

We wish you all Happy Holidays and a Happy New Years. Lots of Love!

Tayler & Stefanie


  1. Merry Christmas, I'm going to post this poem, it is amazing...

  2. Oh Stef that poem summed up exactly what I was feeling this year. You've got me in tears! And what you said about birthmoms remembering their children as babies is so true. Thanks for this post. Hope you had a great Christmas!

  3. What an awesome post! I loved reading your top ten of twenty-ten. You'll be great primary teachers. Are you teaching together/team teaching?

    My side and Dustinn's side both have special Christmas traditions. My favorite (I've mentioned before) is called Gift of the Heart, it's like Secret Santas except the gift is handmade. Everyone is very thoughtful about it and we exchange the gifts on Christmas Eve. There is a buzz in the air because everyone is so excited to share what they put so much 'heart' into.

  4. We're team teaching. Oh. And when I said I graduated dental assisting school in May 2009. I definitely meant May 2010.

  5. I saw you post on Ashley Salazar's page and when I clicked over to your blog I was surprised to see that you live in Utah. I do too. I'm touched by your journey and I am so amazed at how strong you are. You're a wonderful person and I'm glad I stumbled across your blog. Good luck in the future! Love, Crystal Leavitt

  6. Haha! When I saw Leaving family, I thought it was one of my cousins... Crystal... I have cousins with the Name Leavitt... :D I Loved the Poem Stef! :D