I'm taking a break from cleaning the apartment. My MIL is coming into town and is wanting to stay with us. She will be here in like 5 hours. So I'm pretty sure I have a good amount of time to write something really quick.
Yesterday, I went with my older sister Erika and her friend Jeana and her sister to see the Motab and David Archuleta do a little Christmas program.
He was telling us that he got married in Vegas. That they were going to have a temple marriage but he had to leave in like 4 or 5 months to be deployed. They got married and before he left his wife got pregnant. And they were expecting twins. He was deployed 4 months later. And he had been out in Iraq for 4 1/2 years. He has only seen pictures and talked to his kids on the phone. He was surprising his wife that he hadn't even seen in 4 years! And the kids that he had never met! I couldn't even imagine!!
When we got home from my parents and talking to my sister until like 1 in the morning. I told him that that comment hit home to me. Because that's EXACTLY how I felt. I had never been able to express it in words to him until he was able to understand it himself. To put himself in that guys shoes to see that. Yes, I miss Olivia. I do. I missed out on a lot of things. I missed out on a little newborn and her growing up. Of course, having another baby won't mean that it will replace the child that I never got to take care of or watch grow up before my eyes. But it's just the thought of having my own baby to hold and to raise and to love.