Yeah, just so you know. You can fly while you're pregnant. The limit is at 30 weeks. I asked my doctor and she said it was fine for me to fly. You have to have your doctors permission.
Anyway, I decided I needed to clean my room and clean out my car so that way when I got home. I would be happy and come to a nice clean room... and car. ha.
My car was filled with McDonald's bags and Sonic cups. No lies.
I'm kind of wasting time right now with this blog so that way I don't have to go to sleep and just get on a plane and GO! I'm SO excited.
Well, here are some before and after pictures of my room. Warning. I probably hadn't cleaned my room since April. There was still Easter candy. EVERYWHERE.... or was it Christmas candy?
Please don't do a, "Where's Waldo?" and try to find like nasty underwear lying around my floor, perv.
So, I've waited until last minute to pack. I'm all packed.. except for my make up and shower things in the morning.
To make the time fly I decided that homemade chocolate chip cookies sounded DELICIOUS.
I was so proud of myself. Look at this fantastic cookie dough mixture.
Then, I made a BIG mistake. I didn't notice but I put in two TABLESPOONS of vanilla instead of two TEASPOONS. I didn't think it'd make that big of a difference... oh boy. I was wrong.
This is my failure of making chocolate chip cookies. I made a cookie soup. I tasted the cookie dough after I saw this.... it tasted like pure vanilla frosting.
HOW DID IT EVEN TURN OUT LIKE THAT?!
I swear, it would only happen to me.
I think I'm going to take a shower and let it wash away my tears.
Baha. So I went to the doctors yesterday. I found out from the glucose and the HCT test that I'm a little bit anemic. Lame. But the baby is good. She's growing and has a heartbeat. Ha, I texted that last part to a friend of mine and they said, "That's good. Pretty sure we don't know that about the father." I got weighed and I looked. Pre-pregnancy weight I think was around 145. I don't like to know my weight. The weighed me at 161. MEH. 16 pounds. Pretty sure I could cry.
The past couple of days of have been pretty brutal. Besides the fact of being hormonal and pregnant, I've just had a lot of stuff to deal with and don't really know what to do. I've been wanting to be angry and wrote out my feelings in a letter. Then last night I cried because I felt so pathetic.
Here are some quotes from The Miracle of Forgiveness by Spencer W. Kimball that have helped comfort me. I just want you to know that they are EXACTLY how I feel. If you're a grandparent reading this for either your daughter or son who are in my situation. Take it to heart.
"In this situation it is the girl who suffers most... She carries most of the burdens, while the boy often goes penalty-free. The girl most go through the uncomfortable nine months with its distress, deprivations, limitations and embarrassments, and then the pain and expense of delivery and the difficult life afterward. It is a cowardly boy who would not propose marriage, pay costs, share the deprivations and embarrassment. Yet many young men have walked away and abandoned the girl to all the devastating payments for the sin of them both. Parents frequently excuse the son on one pretext or another, and leave the girl to suffer for the sins of them both."
"To buy the girl off or abandon her to her lifelong problem is not courageous, nor fair, nor right. The time will come when every individual will pay full price, and perhaps with interest, every obligation incurred even though it was hidden or covered at the time."
"The young girl who sins realize that all the sorrows, inconvenience and suffering she goes through incident to the carrying and bearing of a child do not fully constitute forgiveness of her sin. She must repent and make her proper adjustment. Let the boy realize too that none of the suffering of the girl minimizes his guilt, but rather magnifies it. For many reasons he may not be prepared to settle down to family life, but he has by his immoral act projected himself into adulthood and has broght upon himself responsibilities which he will do well to accept and discharge as honorably as he can. Like the girl, he needs to find his way to total repentance, and the road leads through acceptance of responsibility, not away from it."
"For the boy, perhaps the matter can be glossed over and covered up by parents who seek to avoid publicity and a scandal, but have they realized what they have done for their son's soul when he doubles his transgression by failing in his repentance? True repentance means restitution, meeting every obligation and restoring every damage so far as is possible. Yet it is strange how many times parents of the boy decide the girl who was good enough for him to date suddeny became promiscuous and therefor is now unworthy for their son; strange also how few of the parents charge th boy with promiscuity and consequently encourage their son to pass up his responsibilities, even to his own detriment; strange how many parents charge the girl who having trapped their son and now rate their boy "holier than thou" and the girl is not worth of further consideration in the matter!"
"In some instances, each party accused the other; each began to distrust the other; each began to hate the other. They both admitted their sin but now the boy was trying to 'crawl out.' His parents were encouraging him to get out of it. They knew the many problems which marriage brings."
In this part of the story it talks about him talking to a couple who encourage marriage in the home. The girl was realizing her predicament and was willing in spite of her fast-diminishing respect or affection for the weakening, selfish boy. And the boy freaks out in this part. Which reminds me a lot of my situation. Ha. All I'm going to say is that I agree what President Kimball had to say to the boy.
"He asked: 'Why? Why should we marry? How could we marry? I have no job. I haven't finished my education. Where would we live? How could I pay doctor and hospital bills? How could we get along without a car? How could we assume the responsibilities of a family and parenthood?' Then I asked some questions: 'Why did you precipitate yourselves into this demanding situation? Why did you do the act which would make you parents? Why did you engage in associations which demand home, employment, status? Your completely irresponsible act and your reaction to it brand you immediately as immature. You seem highly interested in yourself and your conveniences, and your desires. Are you going to run and leave the girl to carry your baby with all your penalties too? It is time you both grew up and matured and faced realities. This situation is not the intention of either of you but it is the result of your loose actions. You made the choice when you broke the law of chastity. You knew it was wrong. You knew this problem could result. Now if you are going to grow up and meet life's issues; if you are going to be fair and just; if you are going to start out a good life on a straight road start now to meet your responsibilities... Today is a good day to start a new life of mature responsibility. Cease blaming others, start to accept your own responsibility. Make up your own mind. You brought this about together, now solve your problems together. Forgive each other and move along and make the best of a difficult situation, and do not run away from it."
I don't take any of this lightly. I've been pregnant for seven months. I know what it's like to be alone through all of this. There are days that it is hard for people to look and judge and say things about me either behind my back or to my face. It's hard to know that I'm the only one getting the consequences of my actions. I'm taking responsibility. It takes two to make a baby. That's for sure. But I'm the only one that shows it. Sometimes there are days that I don't even want to walk out my door to face whatever challenge comes my way. I've learned that through all of this, I'm the stronger person. I am not some seductress who forced some guy to get me pregnant. I'm sorry if there are people who are involved in this, family, or people who aren't even involved in this and have been offended by what I say. Please take a walk in my shoes... or more put on a fat suit and let me know what smart remarks and crude comments you get throughout the day. Because I'd like to know what you think of living my life everyday.
Song of the week:
Two Worlds Collide Demi Lovato
She was given the world So much that she couldn't see And she needed someone To show her who she could be And she tried to survive Wearing her heart on her sleeve But I needed you to believe
You had your dreams, I had mine You had your fears, I was fine Showed me what I couldn't find When two different worlds collide
She was scared of it all Watching from far away She was given the role Never knew just when to play And she tried to survive Living her life on her own Always afraid of the throne But you've given me strength to find home
You had your dreams, I had mine You had your fears, I was fine Showed me what I couldn't find When two different worlds collide
She was scared Unprepared Left in the dark Falling apart I can survive With you by my side We're gonna be alright (We're gonna be alright) This is what happens when two worlds collide
You had your dreams, I had mine You had your fears, I was fine Showed me what I couldn't find When two different worlds collide
You had your dreams, I had mine (You had your dreams, I had mine) You had your fears, I was fine Showed me what I couldn't find When two different worlds collide When two different worlds collide
So, Saturday. I had a day off so my mom and I have been planning to make blankets and quilts for little Olivia.
This purple one is the first one we tied. this lady that helped us is binding the edges together. the light purple side is the front. the dark purple is the back.
Then this is a princess blanket. the pink is the front the green is the back.
Then I measured and cut all the edges. My mom helped me tie all the single knots around it.
Later that night. RuthAnn and I saw THE PROPOSAL. It was SO funny. Surprisingly not so dirty. :) I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Sandra Bullock: What am I allergic to?
Ryan Reynolds: Pinenuts and the full spectrum of human emotion.
Sandra Bullock: I do NOT fart in front of him. I never WILL.
Ryan Reynolds: She farts in her sleep.
It makes me so proud to be Jasper's mommy when I see him sleeping and not destroying everything. I find him in the most random places sleeping. This is probably the most random. Just a stack of clean (my mom didn't like that) towels.
I think this picture was taken on Wednesday before I went to go get my glucose test done. Everyone was telling me how gross it was to drink the sugary drink. I was imagining it to be super gross with like clumps of sugar in it. It tasted like a flat orange soda. That's all. It wasn't a big deal because in the beginning of my pregnancy I craved orange soda. But it made me REALLY tired.
I stopped eating at like 10:30. I woke up at 8 to eat a HIGH protein breakfast. Wait two hours to drink the stuff. Then wait an hour for them to take my blood. I went home and slept. It took most of my energy. Probably because I didn't have sugar in me for 12 hours. EEK.
These were taken yesterday before church. 28 weeks along.
After church I had a meeting with my bishop. Just a sort of get to know you meeting. It was funny because he was asking me what I was doing with my life and I avoided the being pregnant. Then he asked me if I had been sick. And I was like.... nope... just pregnant. And he said, I know. I asked if someone told him. And he replied, my wife has had 4 kids. I know what it looks like.
I laughed openly.
My friend Z came over for dinner and we watched half of Baby Mama before dinner. Then after we went over to N's house. Yep. We went over there to pick up his baby pictures to scan on my computer which I'm working on right now. But I have a picture of me and him. DING.
I laughed because it was sort of awkward. I walked over to take the picture with him and he had his arms folded and I said, "So... are we going to pretend like we're friends?" It was a joke. We both laughed. Come on. This is us, pretending like we're friends. HA.
I don't sweat. I glisten.
Let's just say after I dropped off the pictures there was some drama. But I was talking to a friend later and I said, I'll be honest here. It would hurt me if he never met his daughter. Is that mega weird?
My friend said, No way Jose! Just because things didn't work out or currently aren't working out, whatever the situation may be, it will never change the fact that you two made a life together. Another person. There is a deep connection there that never goes away.
It helped me feel like less of a freak after all that. :)
I had to announce this via blog. Or else I know I would ruin it for myself. My friend let me borrow her first season of Gossip Girl. I've been hooked ever since.
The 3rd season starts September 14, 2009. So there is a whole 2nd season calling my name. Ready to explore it. So what have I done?
I bought the whole 2nd season on Itunes so I can watch it on the plane to Virginia. Why am I telling you this? Since I bought it a week and a few days before my trip I NEEDED to tell the world so they can stop me if I get tempted to watch it before I step on that plane. I'm trying to resist the temptation of watching it from start to finish starting tomorrow. I can't handle it.
:)
Oh the guilty pleasures of life. I'm hooked.
I dumped pebbled ice and I am starting a new intimate relationship with GG 2nd season starting July 7th. It's getting pretty serious.
"And who am I? That's one secret I'll never tell ... You know you love me. XOXO, GossipGirl"
I got this award from Andee :] My sister sent me her blog and I read her adoption story and she's been the sweetest girl. I look up to her in so many ways.
Click on her name and her blog will open. On the side it says "My Adoption Story" if you would like to read her journey.
Thank you!
There are two thing I need to do upon receiving this award:
1. Accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who granted the award and his or her blog link. 2. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you have newly discovered. Remember to contact the bloggersto let them know they have been chosen for this award
Um, I'm trying to think of anything fun or exciting has happened since I last posted... and of course, there has been.
Over the weekend I kind of sat around and did nothing... well, I worked of course, but other than that. I did nothing. I'm sort of a loser.
On Saturday I talked to V. It was really fun. I was working on scanning pictures on the computer and I found pictures of D and V on their wedding day. SAY WHAT?! Yeah, it was kind of cool. It took most of the night to scan them.
I had been texting N about getting pictures from him and asked him if Sunday was alright since he didn't work and neither did I. But I totally spaced and forgot it was Father's day! Yeah, cool.
Ha- I got a really funny text on Father's day. I hope it doesn't offend anyone but my friend texted me and said, "Happy Father's day to YOU, because N doesn't deserve it."
He texted me at church and said his scanner wasn't working. Then I told him I could come over and get them and scan them at my house. And he told me that his mom was VERY protective of them. I told him that he could come over and protect them. He was committed... then his mom was REALLY protective so she'll get them to me sometime this week. Lame :[ I was so excited to get it all done this weekend.
I just barely sent V like 50 million e-mails of my pictures. I'm sure she'll LOVE them.
I'll show you some.
Those are natural ringlets, my friends.
My friend Z from group came over for Father's day dinner and we played Kingsburg. She enjoyed it. It was fun to hang out with her.
My grandma is in the hospital so my dad missed most of his dinner. :[
I was on my way to take Z home and we were going up this twisty road in the dark. Just a back road. And there was a car that was coming around the corner REALLY fast and we almost hit HEAD ON. Yeah, head on people. If I did swerve over, who knows what could've happened. It was the scariest thing of my life. Of course if it was just me I would've been like, "That guy is an idiot!" But Z was with me and she's pregnant, and I'm pregnant, I'm taking care of 3 people in my car plus myself! I was pretty much crying.
That was my excitement for the weekend. I am working tonight... then tomorrow I have a day off. Then Wednesday I'm going to get my glucose test. YIPEE.
I think I'm going to make myself a rootbeer float :]
I also found this picture of me and N- we're on the right. The left side is my friend and her ex.
Oh yeah, D and V texted me on Sunday. They told me that B threw a toy train at a lady 3 rows ahead of them in church. I giggled. And they also wrote, "15 more days until we see you!" 14 now! :]
This is my failure of making chocolate chip cookies. I made a cookie soup. I tasted the cookie dough after I saw this.... it tasted like pure vanilla frosting.
