19 Weeks.

I had to work all day today. Boo.

But I thought I would update on somethings. My life kind of is boring so I feel like I have nothing significant to write anymore.

Let's see, I watched the Jazz/Lakers game when they played in Lakers homecourt and I felt the baby kick me really hard. And I jumped a bit and I said, "OH!" Really loud. I'm sure the people around me thought I was a freak. Or just enthusastic about something. Ha. Who knows. But I thought it was pretty cool. [Someone told me my baby must not be a Jazz fan] ha.
I've been having some ligament pains. And to get personal, by my cervix, so I read online it's probably just the baby kicking there. How awesome is that?

The doctor called and my appointment will be May 12th. If me and Joel had stayed together that would be our 2 year anniversary. Awkward.
But I soooooooo want to know what I'm having already so I can go buy clothes and cute things for him/her. I might as well just go to a place that does it and pay like $100 to find out but whatev.

I work tomorrow then afterwards, RuthAnn is taking me to a movie for my birthday. 17 again with Zac Efron. So hot.

I read this story today, it touched my heart.

Victims of deadly crash remembered as 'loving'

April 23rd, 2009 @ 3:58pm

SOUTH JORDAN -- The family of Blake Strebel and Derek Jasper are speaking out about what happened. They have similar feelings about the suspects.

This is a devastating loss for two families whose sons were in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

But they say they're not angry about what happened, and they don't blame anyone.

Derek Jasper, 18, and Blake Strebel, 19, were killed when two burglary suspects running from police crushed their car.

The victims worked together at Domino's Pizza in Ogden. They were also roommates.

The young men were driving home Wednesday night after playing basketball.

Blake Strebel attended Weber State University. He was studying to be a police officer.

Strebel was behind the wheel of the car that was hit when two men ran a red light during a police chase.

Derek's mother, Jennifer Jasper, says he was expecting a call on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints next week.

Derek Jasper's mother, Jennifer, says he was preparing to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

She said Derek had recently moved out of his parents' house in Ogden so he could experience living on his own before his mission.

He was working as an assistant manager at Domino's Pizza to save money for college.

"Our faith and what we believe has gotten us through this morning and will get us through the rest of our lives," Jennifer said.

She believes her son would be among the first people to forgive the suspects in the case. She says Derek was a very loving person. She said, "Derek was the most generous, loving people person who would give the biggest hugs. He loved everyone no matter who they were, what walk of life they were in."

Friends say Derek was the peacemaker in the group. They were planning a road trip to California in two weeks. Friends say Derek had talked about going into law enforcement. His family says he loved to sing and participated in choral groups since he was in elementary school. He also loved snowboarding.

Jennifer says while she knows the suspects in the chase didn't mean to kill her son, she is heartbroken.

Derek Jasper graduated from Bonneville High School. He planned to go into law enforcement.

"I hope and I pray fervently they get help so they won't do anything like this again, that they will straighten up their lives," she said. "The boys that were victims in this were the best kids in the world."

When Jennifer heard family members of the suspects apologize to them for what happened, she said, "I'm so grateful for that."

Blake Strebel's grandfather, John Strebel, says they don't blame police for the chase, and they aren't angry with anyone. He said, "Anger is not within the realm of our makeup."

Blake's father, Tim Strebel, said, "If they had been involved in criminal-type actions, they will probably end up paying for those, and to have the deaths of two boys on their heads as well, I don't know how anyone can live with that."

Strebel was a student at Weber State University. He also coached lacrosse at Weber High School.

Blake's parents say he was studying criminal justice and wanted to be a police officer like his uncle, who passed away last year.

They say he wanted to help people. Susan Strebel, Blake's mother, said, "[He was] the most loving, accepting young man. He didn't look at classifications, gender or race. He accepted everyone."

The family says if anything comes out of this tragedy it's that they want people to love each other and take care of one another.

Funeral arrangements are still being made for both men.

I don't know what it was but the story stood out to me and had to read it before I went to work. Probably because the kids were around my age. And I couldn't even believe it that they were so young and Derek was waiting for his mission call. They're both good kids and now they're back home to their Heavenly Father way too soon than anyone had ever expected. It makes me think about me writing my blog how I have such a tough decision. But these kids didn't have any decision to make. They were having a good time with eachother and were killed instantly. They can't take that back. And so this is mostly why I hate writing blogs because I feel like I whine about things that are probably not even important to other people. People who have lost others and I'm being selfish. I'm like, look at me, I have a choice, feel sorry for me. Actually, I hope I don't come off that way. I hope people don't feel sorry for me. I put myself in this situation, kind of. Consenting in sex, there can be a consequence of having a baby.
I watched the video and both families said the boys would forgive the young men who caused the crash. My heart would be so full of anger if that happened but you have to think about it, they must've been something really special for the parents to say that about their kids. But it's true everyone needs to know how to live life without regret/grudges and forgive easily, which may be hard to do, but it can be done. I remember when I was in high school, I tried my hardest with every person I had hard feelings towards or had offended me, I forgave them. I had lost friendship with one of my really closests friends in my Sophomore year and then didn't start talking again until our Senior year.
It also makes you think about grudges towards family members. I'm pretty sure I do with one sister at the moment because she doesn't exactly understand how bad she has hurt me through this whole experience. Through hard times, you're supposed to know who will be there for you. I've dropped friends who have abandoned me through this time. But I never thought it would happen to a family member. So I don't know what will happen with our relationship in the future. It's hard for me right now to forgive her because there has been more than once than I've felt alone and felt like she was making it ten times harder on me. I thought tough times brought family closer together and I just don't understand how she turned it around so it's not that way.

What I'm trying to say now, my heart and prayers go out to the Strebel and Jasper family for their loss and hope to find comfort and strength in this hard time.

Private

Yes, I know some of you must be upset that I have posted my blog as private. But N doesn't deserve to know what I'm having or what decision I make.
My ultrasound date has changed AGAIN. Way to go.

I don't exactly know the date yet. But it probably won't be until the 2nd or 3rd week in May. They said they'll call me tomorrow to let me know.

Tonight is my last night of school. I had two of my finals last night. I passed one of them with a 85% I don't know the other one yet.

Sorry this is a short post.
I have to work 11-9 tomorrow.
Boo work! Yay money!

3 days until my birthday.
I'm getting a new phone.
Motozine Zn5 from T-mobile :]

Peace.

So You Had a Bad Day.

I don't even know what's up with today. It's just been AWFUL for me. I woke up this morning and I was like, I don't even want to go to my externship. But I went because I need the hours, hello.
After a procedure I was cleaning up and I was trying to take apart the dental syringe that holds the anesthetic and needle. So I took out the anesthetic cartridge then I had issues with the needle. And it poked my finger. Yep. Totally got my finger numb. Awesome. It was really embarrassing.
Then I had to work on a new patient and take 4 x-rays and take impressions for bleaching trays. I was embarrassed from before I tried to do really well. I ended up making a disaster. I dropped a mirror and broke it. I basically choked the patient while taking their impression. I wasn't set up correctly and was totally jittery and running around. I can tell the patient was NOT happy with me. Yeah, and the best part of it was, the patient worked as an orthodontic assistant and gave me ADVICE to make an impression. Incredible. That made me feel ten times better.
After that, I wanted to do nothing. Be done with the day. I actually had one more patient and had to do the exact same thing. So I fixed the mistakes I made and it turned out a lot better. Besides the fact I had to re-do her impressions on her bottom side 3 times. The first two, the trays didn't fit in her mouth. But she was nice to me.
I talked the dental assistant there and I was like, hey, if you don't think your busy this afternoon do you think I can just go home? And she said it was fine. I don't even know what's wrong with me. My day has been super stressful. Maybe because I haven't gotten a response from someone. No beuno.

Oh yeah, I did deliver the letter to N on... Sunday. At his work. This is how it went.
I walked over and noticed he put blonde in his hair so I said, "Nice hair."
He kind of rolled his eyes at me. Well, that's what it looked like to me. Yeah, just super annoyed I would even think about coming into his work. Nice thank you.
I said, "Here. I just wanted to give you this. Read it later."
He put it in his pocket and I walked away.
Luckily, I saw a friend right before I walked out the store and talked to me. And I was freaking out, almost wanting to turn around and just chew him out and say, "You can at least say hi to me!" I guess, I don't get that respect.

I have school tonight, then I have my three finals tomorrow and Thursday. Tonight I'm working on two patients to pass off, just to get practice and things. Nicole is one of them, if her baby will work with us :] ha, then someone else. That no one would be happy about if I said who it was.
5 more days until my birthday. I honestly will have the most boring birthday this year. I am doing nothing. It makes me a little bit sad. But whatever, I don't need anything.
16 days until my ultrasound. Meh.
I'm excited to see my baby for the first time. I don't even believe I'm pregnant most days. I just feel fat, not pregnant. I do feel my baby move at night when I'm laying in bed doing nothing.

Well, that's my day. I'm hoping it gets A LOT better. I'm going to make some mac&cheese. Me and baby are hungry :] ha. Then probably take a nap before school. Or shower. Maybe that will help me relax.

Picture Blog

Well, obviously if you couldn't tell from the title. I won't be doing a lot of talking. There is a ton of pictures I wanted to show you guys and things that have happened in the past... time that I've posted. Haha. Well, I've been hanging out with my friend Nicole. She and I played basketball together in high school. She's married now and has a baby that's 3 months old (today!). I'm going to name her baby M. :] Happy 3 months M. Yesterday, we ended up going to the duck pond and feeding the ducks. We were going to go to Lehi because my mom loves babies, so I'm pretty sure she would love on M. But M was very hungry and tired so we ended up not going. Here are our adventures at Duck Pond, I'll call it. :]

M's daddy, Darrell, was not very happy with that photo. Don't worry her mom was just a little bit out of the frame. Haha.This is Nicole and me. We tried to take pictures with the ducks. We succeeded below but our faces got washed out.





This is the demon duck. It ran down the mountain just so we could feed it bread and when we walked away, it ran back up the mountain. It was on QUACK!! bahahahahahah Duck joke. That was stupid. :/

I put this in black and white because I am not beautiful in all of my color glory in that photo.

Why did the duck cross the road?

M and the ducky :]

Those are the pictures from that adventure.
This is a picture of my belly this morning at 18 weeks.
19 more days until my ultrasound :]


Front View.

Side View.
Another side view.

Well, this morning I got up at 8:30 to go take pictures from RuthAnn's best friend. I was the photographer and edited these pictures. RuthAnn was there to support and to help me with creative things. So here are some of the pictures we took today. Her friend wanted Bridal pictures but didn't want to pay money to go get the done. She's been married for about a year and she wanted to get pictures while she could still fit in her wedding dress. :] I'll number them and you can comment on what numbers are your favorite.

Number 1 ^^

Number 2 ^^

Number 3 ^^

Number 4 ^^

Number 5 ^^

Number 6 ^^

Number 7 ^^

Number 8 ^^

Number 9 ^^

Number 10 ^^

Number 11 ^^

Number 12 ^^

Number 13 ^^

Number 14 ^^

Number 15 ^^

YAY! I'm done with that. I've been trying to keep myself pre-occupied and not chilling at home for the past while because I have a lot on my mind. And I'll pretty much drive myself crazy if I just am at my house doing nothing.

Well, I'm going to pretend he doesn't read this and I'm going to let out what's on my mind.

I wrote a letter, yes. You all probably know that. I haven't sent it to him because I don't have his e-mail address, which he probably won't give me. But anyway, I don't know what I'm going to try to say to this at all. Because I don't want to sound desperate and start begging for him to talk to me. What the lame? If he wants to talk to me about stuff he can come to ME. I'm done going to him anymore. Except for when I'm done writing that letter and eventually give it to him. But I hope to give it to him before my ultrasound. Honestly, the only thing I want him to be involved in any of my doctors appointments is the ultrasound. I don't know if that's too much to ask for? I mean, whoops. You can't take the time off work to find out what the gender of your baby is? It's something you'll ALWAYS remember and I don't think he'll understand that. It gives me the butterflies to even think about what I might be having (Guesses anyone?). Basically, I'll get the hint if he doesn't go that he's not going to be involved ever. He'll be out of the picture then. I'll make the decision without him and he'll just have to deal with whatever happens. I'm sorry I've laid out all this respect for one person to get NO respect back.

I talked to Nicole's husband, Darrell, who had grown up most of his life without his father. It was really sad to hear the way he talks about it. I wanted to cry and everything he was saying, I was thinking the whole time, "THAT'S WHAT I DON'T WANT TO HAPPEN!" I guess, his dad finally came around by the time he was 16 or 17 and to this dad his dad feels like crap about it. He has no idea how he could ever make it up to him because he never really was a father. He never visited, he never sent birthday cards (even though Darrell waited for them). Not once, did he ever think his parents were going to get back together. He just knew since he was little that that is how it's going to be.

I just had to let that out there.

Don't judge my journey until you've walked my path.

Oh Joy.

I locked my keys in my car, infront of my house. Yep, I just got this car like a month ago. And it is bad luck to me. I have encountered a stop sign violation ticket, $82, my right turn signal light is burnt out, the right side of my car door doesn't unlock from the outside, and now I locked the keys in my car. I have not had the time or the money to make a spare. I would've if I didn't have to pay for that stupid ticket. But go me, I'm waiting for the locksmith to get here to unlock it. But he won't be here for another 60 to 90 minutes. What is up with that?!

First I called the police and they said they don't do it.
The second I called the locksmith to see how much they charged.
That's all.
The third I called the locksmith again to see what I can pay with and if I can just give them a number on a card. And the guy was like, "Yeah, when my driver gets there, you can pay him." I said, "Well, do you need an address?" And they hung up on me!
HUNG UP! Really?!
So I was too embarrassed to call another time but I did and I was very angry at this guy, but it wasn't even the same guy, so he got offended that I talked sourly to him.

So I'm going to sit around my house until this guy gets here and then I'm going to go hang out with my friend in Provo and watch a movie at her house and chill with her daughter who's 2 months old. SO CUTE.

RuthAnn has a date. Maybe her date will unlock the car so I don't have to pay $44 dollars. Ha.

Let's talk about this so people don't get upset.

I'm stressed.
I have many stress factors in my life at this moment. Stress to make a decison. Stress to make money. Stress to be successful. Stress from a certain boy who reads my blogs but won't call me. Hm, weird. I never thought of myself to be intimidating. Stress that I feel like I won't get everything done that I want to get done in time. For some reason, I feel stressed that friends want to hang out and I'm like, I'm busy! I'm a bad friend!

So if you get the feeling that I'm being rude to you, just know, it's pregnant hormones. You have done NOTHING to hurt me or bother me.

My birthday is in 10 days. I am doing nothing. Cool.
4 more school days. I passed my State Radiology Test so now I am certified to take X-rays. :]
But I still have 4 more days.
Let's seee. I have one more chapter to do in my book because my teacher insists on doing it together. I have a benchmark (final type test) to take. I have to work on 2 patients on Tuesday and pass off other things I need to do.
Then, I just have my Written, Clinical, and Terminology test and I am DONE.
Well, then I still have probably about 200 more hours of externship.
Just so everyone knows, an externship is an internship without being paid.
I love it.
21 more days until my Ultrasound, I think. Sounds about right.

I'll be 18 weeks along tomorrow. WOOT.

I always have the most random stories from my work, why are all the people from my work obsessed with babies? At the same time, I love a little awkwardness.
This girl asked me if my baby was moving. Go figure, It's only about the size of my palm. I'm clearly just breathing. Ha.

I love the people I work with.

So the pop-a-lock people are here and I feel SO bad. Cause my car is pretty old school. I sport a '95 mercury cougar. And she's having issues with getting the car unlocked. Ha. I feel awful. I'm like, sorry I'm making your life difficult! Yep, this rocks. Atleast I thought it would be easier for them because it's so old and I'm like I'm paying $44 for nothing?! But, it's not nothing now. Ha. Great.
And it snowed yesterday, so it is FREEZING outside. Go Utah. Of course it's the middle of April and it snowed during spring break. Isn't it the perfect time?

My mom tells me that she's never seen someone get locked out of their car so much. I don't even want to talk about the times I get locked out of my car. The one before I had a spare key. But still, people had to drive out to get me and wait until I could get the spare key from someone. I am a difficult person.

I honestly have nothing else to write. I woke up this morning and had a massive bloody nose all the way to work. It was a good feeling.

I think they got my car unlocked. WOOT.

Peace. Thanks for reading this super pointless blog!

Ugh.

I guess I get to whine. Because I've been talking to a few people about this. But I called N yesterday to invite him to the ultrasound. I was talking to friends and I was asking if they wanted to go and I made the comment, "N might be there if he actually decides to do something." And that kind of stuck on my mind so I called him. No answer. But he returned my call.
This will be the phone conversation. Just so know, I'm awkward when I'm nervous.

N: You called?
Stef: Um, yep. I was just seeing how you were...
Silence.
Stef: Okay... not really. I wanted to see if you were coming to the ultrasound in May. It's like 3 weeks away but I don't know how busy you are. And I figured I'd tell you now.
*This is me hitting myself in the head for even calling*
N: I don't think I should go.
Stef: What? Why?
N: From what Loni said I think she doesn't want me to go to those.
Stef: Uh, that's funny because I asked her if it was okay to invite you and said it was fine.
N: Oh. I don't know.
Stef: Yep, well, I also wanted to ask you how you were because we never talk.
N: I'm fine.
Stef: Oh. Okay. I'll let you go then. Bye!

How awkward am I?!?! Pleaseeeeeeeeee. I got off the phone and cried because I felt like an idiot for even trying! I hate whining and stuff. I just sound like a little girl throwing a temper tantrum. I told my friend Pheonix Azura (I'm putting up their screennames because I'm not sure if people want to know who they are) that I didn't know what to do. So I ended up writing in a notebook how I felt to get my anger out towards him and my frustration. And I turned it into a letter I was going to never send him. But then it turned out good. So I'm going to talk to Loni on Wednesday about whether or not I should send this letter. It's stupid. :/ I won't post it. It's WAY too personal.

I can get personal with people in private but I am NOT posting for the whole world to see.

I was talking to my old locker partner in the 8th grade and she wanted to know how I told N I was pregnant. I probably posted it in my first blog. But I looked at it and I didn't go into too great of detail about. So I thought I would copy and paste excerpts from my e-mail.

Before we broke up I had an allergic reaction to penicillen because I had a sinus infection and so I took this medicine to make the allergic reaction to go away. The doctor told me my birth control pills might not work so to use other contraceptives. That night we ended up buying a box of condoms. Ha. But we were obviously not faithful to that. After we broke up my allergic reaction came back, and I called my mom (she was in Arizona at the time) and I was like, WHAT IS THIS?! I have not been taking any penicillen! And she thinks it might've just stayed in tissue and it has come above the surface. I said, Oh and I'm supposed to be on my period right now. I'm 3 days late. And she's like, It must just be from the anti-allergy pills. Ha. And I figured she was right. Then on the 21st I went to the doctors and he was going to put me on some medicine then I told him I'm missing my period that I'm a week late. And he thought it was from the medicine and so he had me take a test just in case and he came back and said it was a "pretty" positive test. PRETTY POSITIVE?!?! Either it is or it isn't Sherlock.
He had me take a blood test to confirm it so the next day I found on the results and it was positive. On the day I took the urine test I called N and asked him if I could see him and talked to him on Thursday because I didn't work that day and he said it was fine. But he was a little unsure about it because we had just broken up so later he told me he thought I was trying to get him to get back together with me. But when I said it was "important" he figured it was something bigger than that. I went over there and I still had all of his stuff at my house and so I brought a box over full of his stuff. And he took it from me and he asked me, "So you wanted to talk?" And I said, "yes." We went into his brothers room and sat down and I said, "Well, I wanted to tell you that I'm pregnant." And he said, "I figured from my phone call." And I asked him what he wanted to do. He said to me he wasn't sure and that he would pray about it and talk to his bishop. I told him it was fine.
Since I was already over there and my parents knew but his parents didn't that we would tell them right then and he said he would just tell them. He took like two weeks to tell him. It was really annoying. But the first week he was really excited and he said he wanted to help out and be a dad and thought he could do it. But then he stopped returning my calls and I found out he hadn't told his parents so I posted on facebook I was pregnant because I was friends with some of his family and friends. I figured the word would get around. It did. N got on FB later that night after I posted it and he chewed me out and told me I was immature for posting it and told me I needed to grow up and put the baby up for adoption. It hurt. Not lying there.
We didn't talk for about a month then I went to his work. At his work he said in the beginning he was excited and he thought about marrying me but then he thought about what was best for the baby and he figured he wasn't going to be the best dad in the world so adoption is the only way to go. After he got off work he took me out on a date (I call it a date. We used to go to movies all the time and they would be dates.) and told me he wanted to help me out (If adoption he would help buy me maternity clothes-since he never gets pregnant he never has to buy them or get sick. If I kept he would have to figure out what he wanted to do as a father but he would still help pay for maternity clothes.).
Then a week later he stopped returning my calls. And so I went to his work and talked to him after work and he said he talked to his bishop and his bishop told him that we weren't allowed to see each other face-to-face. And he was telling me if I kept the baby he would fight for full custody. Yep. What a winner. I made this story really long. We didn't talk for a month again. Then a few weeks ago he called me on Sunday and told me he wanted to go with me to LDS family services. And I said it was fine. I was really excited he wanted to go to be involved and I was going to give up. Then I didn't hear from him for two weeks. But I found out the next day he went to LDS family services and talked to my caseworker and my caseworker suggest we all meet together.
So that was, two Fridays ago? I don't remember. I put it on my blog though. It was awful. I called him yesterday. I didn't put this in my blog because it would just be me throwing a temper tantrum. But I asked him to go with me to the ultrasound and he said what he got from the session is that he shouldn't go. I told my caseworker that and she was like, "That's funny that he would interpret that because it's completely his choice." I mean, what professional would say that he wasn't allowed to go? I'm about 4 1/2 months pregnant. COME ON. I'm just really sick of him and basically just giving up.
It's hard because I know I won't be able to do it alone financially and of course, if I kept he would pay child support. But the baby does need two parents and that's when adoption would be good and I'm just not a happy person with him. When I think about adoption it breaks my heart and brings me to tears to even think about it ever happening. I have a full on attachment and don't know what to do. I can't exactly give up the things I love. They all kind of go away from me. I really loved N when we were together. But I guess it was different for him. And I don't want this baby to go away from me too. So much love and sacrifice has already gone out to this baby. I'm emotionally drained from the day just thinking about it and what I should do. When it's 4 o' clock in the afternoon I'm about ready to call it a day! I'm so overwhelmed.

Ew, this is why I wouldn't post this on my blog. I sound so whiny! How annoying! Sorry!!

Yep, that was from the e-mail and I apologize again. But that's what's going on. :/

Oh, my mom bought me a book today, "What to Expect when You're Expecting." How cute. I love my mommy!

Funny story of the week: I work with a lot of hispanics. They all know I'm pregnant and they are VERY excited for me. They rub my belly all the time like I'm Buddha. It's great. So one day this older lady was pushing on it and said something in Spanish to her daughter (have I mentioned they're all related?) and her daughter says to me, "That's where your baby is!" And I just look at them and in my most straight face ever I say, "That's definitely my hip."
Incredible.

Don't judge my journey until you've walked my path.

Church.

I went to church today and I'm officially a member of the Lehi 31st singles ward. Go me. Ha. It was my first Sunday there. I slept in because I've been having these CRAZY dreams. But I did make it to Sunday school and Relief Society. I'm glad I went though especially on Easter. I cried during the bearing of testimonies in RS. But I have felt the spirit throughout the time I was there and kept thinking, "This is where I'm meant to be." It's a good feeling. And I love it. I'm looking forward to next Sunday and when I'm done with school to be going to FHE and some institute. It'll be cool.
:]

Anyway, my crazy dreams, you will think I'm SO weird but I don't get to choose my dreams. The night before my dream was that N and I signed a marriage license at Wal*Mart. I guess we decided to get married at his work. And he didn't believe we were really married so he avoided for a while. Yep. Not a fun dream.

The one last night, N went with me to my ultrasound and I found out I was having a boy. I don't know if my dreams are telling me the future about what I'm having. I've had a few dreams now that I'm having a boy. But it might just be because I would like a boy. But I'll be happy with whatever I have. :]

Last night me and my friend went to the movie Knowing. I thought the ending was REALLY weird. We were just kind of like, Um... okay. Then we went cosmic bowling at Jack&Jill's. I love being able to go out and not have to worry about anything. It's so much fun!
I didn't take any pictures because I forgot my camera!

My birthday is in two weeks. I have NO idea what I'm doing for my birthday. It's on a Sunday. I highly doubt I'll have a party. Maybe I'll go clubbing and just dance. Ha. Or sit at home and eat ice cream cake :] I love it. That sounds SO good right now. Go cravings.

Don't judge my journey until you've walked my path.